http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/Stop-Begging

Stop Begging For Love

Do you beg other people for acceptance, love or friendship?

Whether you're down on your hands and knees imploring your lover not to leave you, pleading with your family to accept you or groveling to get your boss to acknowledge your hard work, know that any form of begging is harmful behavior, Dr. Robin says. "Each time you do it, you chip away at your own dignity, at your honor, at your own self-respect," she says. "So it's dangerous to be begging anyone."

Not only does begging break down your self-respect, it simply doesn't work, Dr. Robin says. "When we beg someone, we give more of our power away," she says. "We make them inflated in terms of how important they are, and we deflate our own self-importance—we make ourselves into nothing."

Decide today to stick up for yourself, choose respect and stop begging anyone for anything, Dr. Robin says. "That's teaching someone that it's okay to mistreat you," she says. "You don't want to give someone that much power, nor do you want to drain yourself of your power."

Teach Others How to Treat You

According to Dr. Robin, you have the ability to teach others how you want to be treated. If you tolerate abuse, ridicule or mistreatment, people will continue to treat you with disrespect, she says. "When you smile at something that is derogatory, at something that is demeaning, at something that is unkind, you in that moment are teaching [others] how to treat you," she says.

When you stand up for yourself and carry yourself with poise and dignity, Dr. Robin says people will learn to treat you with honor. "What it means is that you've taught people that that's what you deserve—it's what you desire and you will not settle for less," she says.

Modify your own behaviors and your own attitude to teach the people in your life what you will and will not accept, Dr. Robin says. "Decide today what lessons you want to put out there in the world—in your universe—so that you can transform your life and transform your relationships," she says.

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